Men seek status by engaging in report talk, a style of speaking that emphasizes: 1. demonstrations of knowledge, skill, and ability; 2. instrumentality; 3. conversational command; 4. direct and assertive expressions; 5. abstract terms over personal experince.
Women use conversations to build relationships using rapport talk. Rapport talk emphasizes: 1. demonstrating equality through matching experiences; 2. providing support and responsiveness; 3. conversational maintence; 4. tentativeness; 5. personal, concrete details.
"these different conversational orientations can often lead to misunderstandings between men and women who often experience the same conversation in very different ways such as discussions of personal or professional problems."
I find this concept meaningful because since I work in the professional world, I am surrounded by men and women who undergo these particular conversations. For example, when the men in the office talk, they are talking very bluntly with one another and they get to the point quickly. Women in the office on the other hand, tend to beat around the bush and also try to sugar coat things that may sound a little too blunt. For example, we had an instance at work where a male and a female both got into an argument. It was about inputting timecards and the man had completed the task incorrectly. The woman tried to sugar coat the harsh things she was trying to say in order not to hurt the other's feelings but it did not work because the one conversation that was trying to take place with two different conversational orientations. Therefore, the conversation ended on a negative note.
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2 comments:
I agree with the book and your interpretation that men and women generally have different ways of communicating. But I would temper any response to this by saying that we also place far too much value in our differences than we do our similarities. A large part of improving communications within an organization should be, I believe, minimizing our differences and opening up cultural and gender differences to be presented in such a manner as to be good for the company. We spend a great amount of time wondering how women's nonverbal signals differ from that of men, I think what is more important from an organizational standpoint is how to ferment a communication process that is specific to and best for that particular organization.
Throughout my communication courses I've learned a lot about gender differences. I agree with Gaber that we focus way too much on the differences than similarities...this can be a part of the reason why sexism and the like never seem to cease. Sarah, your example with the female 'sugar coating' is what I also find to be true. However, because I know that women classified as 'beating around the bush,' I find myself being more blunt and harsh. At work, if anyone says anything to get under my skin I speak my mind. Being direct is what I've found to be my strength in the workplace because now people know that they can't take advantage of me.
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